Bridal Shower Etiquette

No one knows how the custom of bridal showers started, but there is a story behind it, though no one knows if it is true. Here is how the story goes:

A poor Dutch girl, in an era where the dowry system was common, was in love with a poor miller. Her father did not approve of her love interest and refused to give her the necessary dowry for her marriage. Now she was in a bit of a fix, but the townsfolk came to her help bearing gifts that were household items to help the couple set up their home.

This seemed like a good plan, but it was missing one important thing ... romance! So, they decided to have a party for the bride where they would give her the gifts, and this is how bridal showers came into existence.

Though times have changed and the brides today are not like the helpless and innocent Dutch girl, the tradition of these showers still remains. They are still the same, parties with lots of gifts; the only difference being the fact that not all the townsfolk are invited, the only guests being close friends and family.

Though this is a fun-filled party, there is also etiquette you need to follow. The biggest question about these showers is that how many can one bride have? This is important, as no bride wants to look as if she is greedy for gifts. But if she has friends with conflicting interests, she is put in a difficult spot where she ends up having more than one.

The bride needs to make sure she has chosen her bridesmaids and maid of honor before the wedding. This makes things easier, as these are the people who are going to host the shower.

The bride should make sure these pretty ladies have access to her address book and guest list, so they know whom to invite and how to get in touch with them. Also, remember that this is an expensive affair, so there is no point in having endless showers; one or two for different groups of people should suffice.

The popular trend these days is to have a bridal shower where colleagues who are not invited for the wedding want to throw the bride a party, and an out-of-town shower for those friends and family members who cannot make it for the primary one.

• Hosting the Shower: Mostly the maid of honor, along with the bridesmaids, hosts the shower. But if the maid of honor cannot host it, then she, along with the bridesmaids, should come up with an alternate solution. If more than one showers need to be thrown, then the hostess for each should be different.

• Guest List: Those that are invited for the wedding shower have to be invited for the wedding too. It is rude if a person is expected to bring a gift, and not invited to the wedding. People who must be invited are mothers and grandmothers of the bride and groom, aunts, female cousins, bridesmaids, close female friends, family friends, and female colleagues.

• Invites: All the guests should be sent a different invitation even if they live in the same house and belong to the same family. The invitation card should be mailed at least a month in advance and should include the name of the bride, date, time, and venue of the shower.

It should also include contact information, a theme if any, registry information, and the RSVP deadline (which should be about 2 weeks prior to the shower).

• Greeting: The hostess has to greet the guests as they come for the shower, but if she is busy with other things, then there should be someone else assigned to the task. This will also be the person responsible for introductions and making the guests comfortable.

• Games and Icebreakers: Since the shower will consist of people from different aspects of the bride's life, they need to get to know each other to make this an enjoyable event. Icebreakers and games are a great way to have fun and to get to know each other.

• Thank You Notes: The hostess and one more person should be responsible for sending out thank you notes to all the guests for making the shower a fun event and for the gifts. The bride has to write these notes, but the hostess and bridesmaids should help her in it. This should be done within 2 weeks of the shower.

So, host a bridal shower for your soon-to-be-married best friend and have fun!