Should You Invite an Ex to Your Wedding?

Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future. ~ Lewis B. Smedes

We often talk about forgiving and forgetting. How can we forget and let go of someone who caused us so much of pain? It takes a long time for the wounds to heal. A breakup is followed by moving on, finding reassurances, and getting life back on track.

As time passes, we chance upon love again, healing the wounds it left the last time, and wearing its scars as medals. We rebuild our dreams and write new plans to find lost happiness. From your previous experience, you may know that it is not rainbows and butterflies, but this time the promise seems stronger, bolder, and grown up.

So when the sunrise of tomorrow looks so glorious, why dig up the past by inviting your ex to your wedding? Although the two of you might have moved on, it is impossible to erase the memories you shared together. Seeing your ex as you walk down the aisle would be an unwanted reminder of all those things you've left behind.

Inviting your ex to your wedding would also put your spouse-to-be in an awkward situation. Besides these, there are several other reasons which justify why you should not invite your ex to your wedding.

Remember that scene from 'Friends', where after much contemplation, Ross does not invite Rachael to his wedding with Emily? Well, she turns up for the wedding anyway, and what happens next remains to be the epic history in the genre of romantic-comedy! At the altar, Ross actually ends up saying Rachael's name instead of Emily's.

Now no one wants such an embarrassment! Maybe when you are taking the vows and promising each other a lifetime's commitment, having your ex's thoughts could create a goof-up like this. And we'd all like to avoid this one.

There comes a moment in a wedding ceremony when a question is asked, "if anyone has any reason that these two should not be united in holy matrimony, step forward now or remain silent forever!" What if your ex objects and ruins your perfect moment? It's really not worth risking it. So, avoid this invitation.

The aforementioned could be one scenario, wherein you would find out whether your ex is over you or not, but there could also be many more. An ex who is not over the breakup might begin talking to the guests at your wedding, and share a few unwanted details.

An unrequited love has a serious motivation to indulge in crime of slander or wallow in self-pity to prove a point. This day is about you and the person you are marrying. Try to keep every slight chance of trouble of this sort at bay.

A breakup - even a mutual one - is always painful. So, when you invite your ex to your wedding, you might dig up things from the past. There remains no point to invite a person who might walk in with resentment, grief, and anger.

Your ex will always be a reminder of things that went wrong and the mistakes you've made. You surely do not need a reminder of all those things on the day you plan to open a new chapter of your life.

While making your guest list, analyze the reasons why you are inviting your ex to your wedding. Is it your way of saying that you did better? Or is it a way of mocking him or her and pulling an act of revenge? Are you trying to find a closure to your past relationship by inviting your ex to your wedding?

All of these questions spell one answer, still do not invite your ex, as these matters are in the past, and hold no relevance in your new life. Your wedding party is not the right place to settle scores of any sort.

Your wedding day is got to be all about you. It has got to be about how you look, the love people shower on you, and the happiness around you. Inviting your ex to your wedding would be making diversions in this attention. Also, it would invite unnecessary controversial talk for your guests. Let's just say, we want to keep the attention on you, that day!

These are the obvious reasons why you need to avoid inviting your ex to your wedding. But some other things that you need to consider are your kids (if you were married before this and have kids from that relationship), the awkwardness your family might go through, and the unwanted heartache you would put your ex under.

There isn't a thumb rule whether you should or should not invite your ex. Obviously, if both of you have moved on and are genuine friends now, then all this should not be an issue. However, what is in the past can remain in the past, while you walk towards a far more promising future.