10 Weird Wedding Rituals Around the World

Marriage is the death of hope.
- Woody Allen

So as we all know, or rather, most of us may know, marriages are made in heaven for the tough-skinned. They involve a considerable amount of hard work, blood, sweat, tears, and what-have-you.

Little do we know about this on the day of the wedding, so we put in a lot of our prized efforts and hard-earned money into making this day the most special day of our life. From the venue, to the caterers, to the actual ceremony, most of us love to make it as perfect as perfect can be, so as to prepare us for whatever lies ahead.

Wedding rituals around the world comprise some really funny and quirky touches, that lend it the warmth and joy associated with the occasion. The following rituals, however, are far from all this. Weird, whacky, and just plain bamboozling. Here are some weird wedding rituals from around the planet.

If you thought the funniest thing about Scots was their man-skirt, think again. Just before the wedding, the bride-to-be is assaulted with disgusting things, from dead fish, curdled milk, rotten food, to all kinds of trashy things, including tar.

The reason?
Well, this is done with a view to help the bride take her marriage in the right spirit, by letting her get accustomed to humiliation and degradation, which may (or may not) be a part and parcel of her marriage.

If anyone has managed to paint a realistic picture of marriage, it's got to be the resourceful Scots.

Women born under a certain astrological combination of Mars and Saturn are considered to be unlucky in terms of marriage. It is believed that such women pass their cup of woes on to the groom and his family after marriage.

The solution?
Getting hitched to a tree means that the curse is broken, because, duh, trees don't have relatives. And they're trees. So this is how the woman fixes her run of bad luck, gets back on the marriage market, and hitches a human this time.

Funny how in some cases, after the 'real' marriage, these women wish they were still married to the tree.

As a pre-wedding ritual among tribes in Borneo, the bride and the groom are not allowed to use the toilet for three days before the wedding. Oh, don't worry, the couple is also fed sparingly during this time, to prevent certain urges.

Why, why, why, oh why?
This ritual is known to promote fertility, and the longevity of their offspring. Also, the agony of not being able to relieve oneself is compared to the travails of marriage.

Is it just me, or are you observing some kind of a pattern here?

The Maasai tribe of Kenya is known for a long list of other weird rituals which can be deemed horrifying. The one featured here may pale in comparison to those, but is quite quirky nevertheless. Here, the father of the bride spits on her head, bidding her farewell as she leaves for her new life.

Any guesses why?
No official word on it, but a good guess says that daddy wants the daughter to be prepared for what awaits her.

Sigh!

At the reception, if the bride or the groom leaves the table, the one left gets kissed... by everyone. So, let's say the groom makes a toilet trip during the reception, his bride will be kissed by all the males present at the party, and vice versa.

Umm...what?
From the looks of it, does seem as if the Swedes just want to indulge into some cheerful banter at the wedding.

Having come this far in the list, it appears to be the most gentle of them all.

So, you'd think that a nice, exquisite crockery set may make a fantastic wedding gift to a couple. Well, if you're in Germany, don't bother to make it too expensive, as they'll be smashing them to smithereens anyway.

Really? How mean...
Not mean in the least bit, when you understand that they do it to ward off evil spirits, who apparently don't like the sound of smashed plates.

Before you get completely outraged, do note that this is not a real real marriage. In rural India, these marriages are conducted to negate any evil energy.

So, which is the animal of choice?
It is the good ol' goat, mostly. But there have been the odd incidents of a few cattle-types as well.

We usually tend to see a lot of smiles and happy faces at a wedding, be it anywhere around the world. But weddings in Congo are a far cry from all of that. Here, somber is the flavor of every wedding, with the bride and groom not being allowed to flash their pearlies at all.

So, you don't say cheese at all?
You're right. Weddings in Congo are serious business, and the formality of the occasion demands a straight face that means business.

If your choice of an attractive woman corresponds to the magnanimity of her girth, you've got to be here in Mauritania. Women in this African nation are prepared, right since a very tender age, to eat like gluttons in order to nail a neat husband. This is done to the extent of force-feeding women thousands of calories a day, to make them look, well, umm, fuller.

And here you thought Greek weddings were all big and fat
No, that was just a movie, silly. Yes fat is very much 'in' in Mauritania, and women go to absurd lengths to fatten themselves up. On the day of their wedding, their humongous stature is what gives the groom a great sense of pride.

On the Marquesas Islands of French Polynesia, the bride's relatives have to bid farewell to the newly married couple in a rather peculiar manner. They actually lie flat on their tummies in a row, making a sort of human carpet, and the couple walks over them.

Don't ask why...
As no explanation could be found. But there's still something to cheer here. The couple just walks on this freakish human carpet, they're not allowed to jump.

Thank heavens!

The list doesn't end here, of course. There are far too many countries in the world, with as many weird rituals. So if you know of any other, do let us know. Until then, let's just raise a toast to these.